I need advice

SO...I legitimately need to speak to someone. Someone who isn't my friend at the moment but whose been in a relationship. I need all the help I can get from those with possibility more experience in this area. You see, I've had this question on my mind for ages...How do you know that person is the one? Is there bells ringing? Or lights flashing? Some sort of huge sign that lets you know, yes this is the one for you. Because anything else, the whole "you just know" bullshit...i don't believe anymore. I dont fricking know. How would I if i never felt it before? Also I don't like to leave anything up to chance. Also I need to be realistic and get rid of some of those fairy tale dreams I once had about love due to the fucking movies and books I read growing up. I need to stop holding out for perfection or the "notebook-esque" love story. It's not going to happen. I mean really. This world is skewed. On one side as girls we're shown these "epic" love stories, girl finding her prince, her one true love, her 'noah calhoun' perhaps. These expectations of these epic love stories are ingrained in us from the beginning. Girl needs a boy to be happy. Love is this AMAZING feeling and will always prevail anything else. But then...we grow up. Or we are told: 'No, actually those love stories don't really exist and if they do it's because they're the exception." So what the fuck do I believe? As someone whose never been in love, how am I ever going to "know" ??? I thought I knew before...but that didn't last/work. Where my standards to high? Was my guard up too high? Most recently I had a person in my head and was so sure I was ready to get back into a relationship and get into it with this particular guy. I thought about him constantly for months but never really knew for sure if I could ever get that relationship back. Cut to a few months later of me agonizing whether these feelings/thoughts I were having were legit and not out of loneliness, the relationship came back. But guess what my fucked up head does? I don't feel those feelings anymore. Why is it that once I get something I thought I wanted I no longer want it? I guess I'm suffering from the 'you only want what you can't have' mentality. Which is sick. And stupid. And fucking plain annoying. Why can't I just be with this person. He's a great guy, likes me, cares for me, listens to all my fucking shit. Yet...there are times where I just don't want to hang out with him, or I don't find what he says funny. The level of comfort I wish was there isn't. -Rather I don't feel like he's my best friend. I can't talk to him like I can with my other friends. I also don't feel the butterflies I did once before, or passion when we kiss. Maybe today was just a off day? But shouldn't I want to hang out with him all the time? Shouldn't I want to talk to him more than I do? Shouldn't there be a level of comfort there already? Given the fact we have such a long history? Why does it feel like we don't really connect on a level. I don't get it. I sure can use someone to talk to about this. Unfiltered.