It seems like today is one of those days were i realized that almost everyone around me has some sort of significant other by their side. It seems like everyone is in a relationship right now. This all might sound narrow minded or cynical, not everyone i know is in a relationship and they might not all even be happy...but that's where i'm at right now. I left off in my previous blog about feeling lonely and its come bubbling up to the top once again. It also doesn't help that there's a fair share of people around me in relationships.
They say great things happen when you least expect it, which is probably true. It is a saying after all, it had to come from somewhere. I guess that hasn't happen to me yet, and I kinda hope it happens to me soon. However I guess that defeats the purpose of the saying because my hope is me expecting it. Guess I screwed that chance of something great happening to me up.
I've also heard about how your suppose to act like your not suppose to care about the person you like. You're suppose to act nonchalant and not show that you like this person, maybe even sometimes treating this person like crap. All for this person to come to you and start realizing they like you. It is me or is that all just a load of shit? How backwards is that thinking? Treat someone like shit so they like you? Ignore them so they notice you? This obviously works for some people because its obvious that word has gone around that this tactic works. Maybe i'm old fashion but i believe in flirting and telling the person you have feelings for them...maybe that's where i've been wrong. All this time im suppose to be ignoring and not being upfront. I figured it out....
hopefully you can tell this is sarcasm.
I've also been closer and closer to telling people the link to this blog. On one hand it just seems easier to tell the people who actually care or at least the ones i care enough to be truthful and honest with, the low down of whats been going on in my life. It seems like the easiest way to let those people know just exactly what's been going on in my head for the past couple of months. This blog has and hopefully will always be my outlet where i can let my feelings out openly and honestly. Which is also part of the flip side of me hesitating on letting this blog go public, as in terms of those who know me. This is the place where i can openly talk about anything and everything on my mind. I don't have a filter here and have to be afraid of what i say. No one's reading this blog....that I know of. This blog is just for me.
Also, i hate feeling like i'm being lied too. In fact I know i'm being lied to because the evidence is right in front of me. I don't like being played and being taken for as a fool. I'm not a fool. Don't burn me. I'm a strong headed person, i know this. I don't really take shit from people and have the mindset in where you cross me once I don't care about you anymore. I don't tolerate people hurting me and i'm quick to cut people. Most people at least. I do have trouble with the mindset, especially lately. I've been hesitant to cut a certain someone from my life recently whose hurt me, but i just can't seem to let go..at least not fully. I've been coming more and more distant with this person and been caring less and less. I haven't let go completely yet and even letting go little by little sucks and hurts. And i cant remember the last time letting someone go hurt me. I guess that says something...
No comments:
Post a Comment