best friend

A realization came into my head as I got home from spending the day out with my cousin and her best friend...all I've really ever wanted in life was a best friend. I've always just wanted someone in my life I could call my best friend. Just one friend I could turn to whenever I needed something. Someone who I was so close with and I could spend the whole day with and not get sick of them. They would be the person I could be myself with. They would accept me and my flaws and love me for me. I'm not near the end of my life and I'm sure I still have a lot of learning and growing to do, however it seems like...for the most part, that is what I've been searching for. I've long for this friend. This one person I could count on to be there for me, and vice versa.

I envy my younger cousin most of the time. Not only does she have an older sister but she has a best friend that is essentially her twin. Watching all these chick flicks that I do as well as the numerous family centered television/movies I've always wanted an older sister to look up too. I have an older brother, but its different...and we have a different relationship then most.

I was a tomboy when I was younger and even now, I'm not the "girly-est-girl" out there. I was a late bloomer. I didn't really get into make-up/shoes/clothes, etc...the stereotypical "girly" things until later in life, well after my peers did. Anyway, I just always wish I could have had an older sister sometimes...to help me out with the girly stuff. Someone I could ask questions to, get advice from...and all that jazz. I guess that also comes into me wanting a "best" friend. I value the one-on-one connection you have with people. I like how each friendship or relationship isn't the same. Each has their flaws and special little aspects.

I just...I wish I had that connection with someone. Someone I could call my best friend. Where it would be a "balanced" friendship. Something like what my cousin has with her best friend. I want to find my twin.